It was last summer when I first realized how insecure I was as a person. Without realizing it myself, I have been pretending to appear as someone I was not really; this scared me a little, and I wanted to encounter the problem. However, I was scared when I started to acknowledge the insecure part of me. I could no longer see what part of me is really me and what part of me is a mask. By talking to my friends and families, I’ve slowly come to understand that I was insecure because I tried to hide that I am vulnerable. I wanted to be the perfect person, the wonderful girl that had everything right about her. I worked hard so no one would see my weaknesses. I forced myself to become someone who I wasn’t and no one could be. I should get mad. I should cry. I should not force myself to smile all the time. I should laugh when I want to and only when I truly feel like laughing. I should not have tried to control my feelings. Feelings are not to be controlled. I had to embrace parts of me that may be ugly, instead of keeping them hidden. It is still difficult for me to accept myself as who I am, but now at least I know what I have to fight for – I have to fight to find myself, accept myself, and be able to say “I am beautiful” looking in the mirror. It will be a tough fight, and it will become even more difficult surrounded by new people who may or may not accept me as who I am, but I will fight this time. I will not hide from who I am. Even though my description above is very vague, I am still afraid that someone will find out about me. I am already conflicted whether I should post this on Internet or not. Shouldn’t I just keep it to myself? Shouldn’t I just wait until I become fully accept myself and be confident before I post such thing? I am so insecure and want to retreat back, back to home, where I am safe, where no one can read my thoughts. But, I remembered this quote from someone “If not me, then who? If not now, then when?”.